Well it's been a while since my last post but that hasn't been for lack of effort on my part. I have written the equivalent of about twenty single-spaced pages split into three different posts over the last few weeks, but not one of them really captured the essence of what I have been feeling for the past year. Writing has always helped me break down my problems so I can analyze them. It is my biggest weakness; that I have to share my thoughts with paper for me to truly understand them. I end up writing more than almost anything else which is partially why I started a blog in the first place. All of my thoughts and stories are just too long for facebook. However, this has ended up being much less of a traditional blog about my life events and more just a way for me to sort out my thoughts about said events. The best part is that this saves me tons of trouble.
In life you will always have others who claim to be your "friend" but have little to no attachment to you at all. You spend valuable time pouring out little bits of your soul to these so-called friends but in reality they could care less. Then there are also those who you wouldn't really consider yourself friends with at all but who could genuinely care about you, or at least much more than some who you would actually call friends. This whole process is in itself a way to weed out the non-friends from friends. You see any who would actually care to know how my life is both physically and spiritually could just read what I post here (or you know, just ask me). Inversely, those who could care less feel no obligation to read as they likely know nothing of this pages existence in the first place. I realize there are some rather large holes in this ideology but it seems perfectly reasonable for the time being. The best part is if it turns out there is not one person who will ever read this then that works out fine too because I will never know one way or another so my only obligation is to keep writing.
There was much more I was to add to this about my future life goals and where I am going in the future but I have decided to post this by itself as the other writing does not connect with this part at all. This was a rant all in its own that I felt needed saying.
I am not trying to knock the value of being able to tear the mask off my own emotions and grasp the true textures of my own thought. Writing is a great tool for a countless number of things. I simply feel that it would be of greater value if the emotion and truth about myself that I can pour into paper could be equally poured into another person on a face-to-face basis. I feel that this inability is one of societies biggest issues and sub-textually is what ruins many relationships whether within simple friendships, romantic relationships, and to a certain extent man's personal relationship with God. If humans truly could verbalize their emotions in an honest way to each other it would most definitely be better than having the ability to shared with just paper and pen.
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